How to get yourself out of a frustration-funk
With 3 simple steps, I have discovered, tested, and approved.
There are likely little things that frustrate you some days. Some of these little things may frustrate you every day, but you learned to live them, with the frustration, or you simply blow up a little every day and then move on.
But some days, those little frustrations may add up and just want to knock you down. You’ve had enough. Either too many little things accumulate, or one big thing just sends you over the edge.
I’ve had one of those moments the other day.
I had started my day in a good mood, looked at my to-do list, and started chipping away at it. For the first hour and a half of the day, I was pretty productive and felt great about my progress.
Then a phone call came in. It was with a governmental agency regarding a financial matter I had to respond to for my business. It wasn't necessarily an uncomfortable matter, so I took a deep breath and answered the call in good spirits.
It didn't go well. The government representative told me about a certain process I had to follow (which seemed lunatic and, frankly, irresponsible to me). But she told me there was no way around it. I also knew I needed to get approved for this matter to keep my new business going. Simply declining and moving on was not an option.
I felt figuratively paralyzed: 1) I need this to work, 2) there is no other way than what they told me, 3) I was not comfortable with that “way;” it wasn't just a hassle, it was going to put me at risk at a different level.
Then, I suddenly felt a rush of other “little things” add to my frustration all at once:
My hair wasn't staying in its clip as I’d like it to and it tickled me mercilessly, a minor medical issue I had dealt with for a few days (which required me to apply topical medicine which had been bothering me a little every day, now suddenly bothered me a LOT), my pants weren't sitting the way I wanted them to and I couldn't get the string right to fix it, and suddenly I was so hungry and had nothing in my pantry I found suitable to eat!
Within minutes, I felt completely demotivated, eaten up by frustration, and useless to get any work done.
Which — oh, the irony — made me even more frustrated.
Then, I took a step back.
What if I could do something to not beat myself up with literally my own body and mind?
About 20 minutes later, I had been able to turn my mood and frustration around, and return back to my former motivated, productive, and cheery self!
Here’s my 3 step process that I followed:
(And I didn't really “follow” it; this was my first time doing it, and afterward looking at it and realizing I had completed a “process!”)
Step 1 — Let yourself feel the frustration.
Really, let it out! In whatever form that may be for you. Cry, scream, punch a pillow, storm-text a (close) friend, call your mom to vent, lay on the couch and stare at the ceiling, or eat half a pint of ice cream. There are many options.
But let yourself feel that frustration. Allow yourself to be pissed. Even wallow in some good ol’ self-pity for a few minutes:
The world isn't fair! Things in life don't work out! Why is sugar bad for you when it tastes so good? The universe just has it out for me today!
Already feels good, doesn't it? (If it doesn't yet — go wallow and scream a bit more. Tears and all are a bonus.)
Step 2— Check in with your frustration and examine it.
After you’ve just wailed at the world (or a friend) of how unfair life is, take a minute. Quiet yourself and your thoughts. (Take 1 full minute of being completely quiet.)
Then, ask yourself three questions:
- Why are you feeling so frustrated about this (go through each little frustration-matter one by one)?
- How much are you really pissed? (Like, is this life-changing stuff, or will your hair eventually have a good day again and stay in your hair clip?)
- What are your options?
Dig a little to honestly answer those questions to yourself. #1 will help you to articulate the problem/frustration. #2 will (likely) help you put things in perspective. #3 will help you find some clarity and solutions.
Huh, the world may not be ending for you today after all…
Step 3 — Remedy your stuff!
Okay, so you went through step 1 and step 2, and should already feel a little lighter. Maybe there’s an alternative to staying in bed with ice cream smeared all over your face for the rest of the day?
If you’ve completed the 3. question in step 2, you also know what your options are. It’s time to apply them!
For me that meant:
- Government/business issue: the lady had told me how long I have to finish the process (5 days), so I knew I had 5 days to internally come to peace with the process even though I still felt uncomfortable with it (or abandon it and find a different — unlikely — way for my business).
- Hair: let’s take out the hairclip and redo it. — I can do that?!
- Pants: put on a different pair! — I have two pairs of pants???
- Topical medicine: I wiped it off for my little temper tantrum (because I needed to be able to yield my hands freely!), then re-applied it because I know what you're supposed to do with medicine. — Waaaah, medicine.
- Hungry: eat something out of your pantry that has served you well before. — Man, hangry really is a thing…
And there you have it; a few minutes later, I am back at my computer and to-do list and eagerly chipping away at my next item!
It’s a miracle! No, not really. Just 3 simple steps that most humans can complete easily to get themselves out of a funk. Try it next time yourself.
Hi, I’m Jenna! I’m a long-time writer/fresh copywriter. I’m on a journey to making writing my full-time gig. Jump in with me! On Medium, I write about life’s struggles and successes, the writing process itself, and how to live better. Many of my stories have a touch (or a lot) of personal experiences in it.
Follow me on Medium here. I’m also on Twitter and Instagram (all are @jennacopywrites).
