Turning Fear into Opportunities (and How to Reach That Goal You Set!)
Even if you are the most in-your-head person ever.
This is a continuation of my previous (first ever, in fact!) Medium post, where I give insights into how my current “new beginning” of becoming a full-time copywriter has formed:
I want to dive deeper into what helped me not give up this time around, and make progress on what I set out to do.
I’m a person that is very much in her own head. My mind is never still, never quiet. It offers me feedback, good and bad, whether I want it or not.
Starting something new (something as big as a new career!) is a big deal for me. Like most people, I don’t like failure. It’s like rejection; it’s one of those icky feelings that nobody likes. Even though some people say that you should learn to love these feelings. I doubt most people do:
I just embarrassed myself in front of my crush confessing my love when he told me I would never be remotely his type. Yay — feels awesome!
I just got fired from my job for underperforming. Yesss, I can’t wait to go tell all my friends!
I mean, come on, how many people would respond like that? Failure and rejection are not fun. But you know what? They’re part of life. And I’ve had my fair share of them, so by now, I’ve learned to — not love, but — deal with them. And to convert them to more useful feelings, so I can learn from them instead of getting torn down.
My current goal is to become a full-time freelance copywriter. I’ve set this goal about 4 weeks ago (so, it’s still fresh!). I’ve been writing in some shape or form for most of my life. But I’ve never been a professional writer. Which means, I face about a million hurdles. And lots of hard work. But you know what? So far, I haven’t failed (stay tuned for the final outcome, I guess). In fact, it’s been rather fun and productive.
I tried to look at what has been different this time. Aside from being passionate about my goal, what has helped me push through?
In the past, I usually gave up on new goals by letting thoughts of doubt and fears of the failure control my mind. Negative self-talk seems so much easier than positive self-talk. I also often felt exhausted — both physically and mentally — from trying ten different things at once (none of them well), working my butt off to get them right, and not seeing results. It was frustrating.
I had cultivated my own debilitating energies which were working against my reaching the goal.
This time, I approached things differently: I realized that my negative thoughts and feelings needed to be manipulated so I can use them to work for my goal, instead of against it.
But I won’t lie, it’s hard at first. You have to really force yourself. No amount of encouraging quotes or “you can do it”-posts can move that little needle (from fear to courage) inside of you. Moving that needle is something only you can do. You have to consciously decide to turn that switch.
You also have to realize that in order to be successful, you have to work hard. No one has ever won a Nobel Prize, earned their Ph.D., or become an Olympic athlete simply by thinking good thoughts and staying positive. Your success needs hard work, sweat, tears, and well, hopefully not your blood.
The following is what worked for me — I call these my 5 steps to achieving a goal:
- First, you have to create your goal in your mind (for me: become a full-time copywriter).
- Secondly, you have to decide to achieve this goal.
Ask yourself questions like these:
Why do I want it in the first place? How badly do I want this? What about it feels so right that I cannot possibly allow myself to fail? What are the greatest benefits I could reap from succeeding? What are the strengths I can draw upon to overcome hurdles?
3. Next, you have to decide to act on your goal. Approach this as specifically as possible.
Think about things like these:
When will I work on my goal? What will I do during this time I set aside? What will I do in the first week? How many days and hours every week can I devote to work on my goal? What sort of things do I have to (at least temporarily) drop from my usual schedule? How will I feel about eliminating these things? If I don’t want to cut much, what can I try to move around in order to create time to work on my goal? How will I work on my goal — do I want to do everything on my laptop, on my phone?! Am I a paper and pen kind of person and need to get myself a proper planner for this?
(Tip: do not get caught up in things you might need to buy or organize before starting, this will only stall your process. Plus, you might give yourself an early disadvantage by spending valuable funds on things you don’t really need. Use 90% of what you have, you can always upgrade later.)
Ask yourself direct questions and formulate clear answers. Make sure that your answers are real-life-fit.
Quick check-in.
Have you noticed how steps 1–3 have been purely mental work? You are not supposed to do any physical work yet, but rather get inside of your mind and heart, and ask yourself tough questions. Make yourself think and make a commitment to yourself.
Tip: as long as you don’t get lost in distractions (← watch yourself on this), there’s no reason you can’t add a few elements to make this process more fun and visual. For me, getting a whiteboard and writing down steps and times when I’d do work on certain things have been a fun way to engage my brain. You don’t have to use any physical tools at this point at all, but it can’t hurt.
Now the physical parts (no, nothing improper here).
After you’ve done the mental leg work, the next step is to execute the steps of your plan. This means you can watch your hands, legs, arms (whatever is most involved for your goal) act on the magic that started in your brain.
4. Put in actual physical moves to work toward your goal.
After you have your goal and steps well-defined in your head, write them out. You may have already done this in the past step. If not, now is the time. Make a written schedule. You can use a whiteboard like I did, you can use a physical planner, or you can use digital tools like Trello or Asana. Having some digital tools (and they should all be free) is nice because you can add reminders and notifications to help you stay on track. But again, don’t get lost in getting lots of extras; a simple sheet of paper and a pen will do! No fancy equipment required. As long as you can write or type (or scribble down bullet-points), you’re good.
A word on scheduling.
I urge you to really be ultra-specific in terms of scheduling your steps. Create a Google calendar, use the reminders app on your phone, use a whiteboard with post-it notes, use any app that works for you, use a friend to text you every time you have a working session scheduled. Do whatever works best for you. But do schedule exactly when you will work on what.
For example, my first steps included:
- Research quality copywriting courses I can take to deepen my knowledge of copywriting.
- Sign up for 5–10 of the best courses I’ll find.
- Add dates by when I want to have each course completed.
- Add exact times when I will work on course #1.
- Add exact times when I will work on course #2 (and so on).
- Create an online portfolio to show off my copywriting pieces (plus, decide what format I want this to be).
- Create new pieces for my portfolio.
- Source clients.
- Build my pricing structure.
- Reach out to potential clients.
There were (are) many more steps to my goal; this is just a little taste.
I can’t stress this enough: get as specific as possible with the steps toward your goal. If in doubt, rather spend a little more time on this step. Take a whole afternoon, a day, or even two if you need to. Write down everything as clearly as possible. And most importantly, attach days and times to every step! This schedule will be the jelly to your peanut butter. Do not try to make your sandwich (i.e. your goal) without it.
(Personal note: I love to help others and find it rewarding to see other people succeed. If you would like some pointers or simply bounce off ideas with someone on the steps toward your goal, feel free to drop me a message or response here anytime! I’m not a “counseling coach” by any means, but I’d love to help by sharing what worked for me or help brainstorm any pointers for you. 🙂)
Final step.
If you’ve successfully (and thoroughly) completed all prior steps, this last step is kind of a piece of cake. At least you’ve done everything you could to make it happen.
5. The final step is: work on your steps! Exactly as outlined in your schedule. Be disciplined. Do not get distracted by every-and anything in your view. Simply don’t allow yourself to. If you have to, pretend that you have a mean boss looking over your shoulder to stay on track. But if you are passionate about your goal, you shouldn’t need to do this. The fire in your belly should be enough of a driving force.
If you would like some quick tips to stay focused, try:
- Listen to energizing music (either on your headphones, or full blast into the room if you live alone).
- Write a few of your favorite, inspirational quotes down and hang them near your desk (or wherever you’ll mostly be working on your goal).
- Silence your phone during “scheduled goal work time.”
- Close your door with a note to family or roommates to “only disturb for emergencies” (and make sure they know what qualifies as an emergency!).
- Turn on a white noise machine.
- Stick little post-it notes with reminders for different tasks around the house.
- Hydrate with plenty of water to keep your mind sharp!
- Keep yourself well-fed (but don’t over-indulge in snacking) — try fresh fruits, veggies, nuts, crunchy seaweed, etc.
- Get into a routine and stick to it.
- Enlist the help of a family member or friend who can text you when it’s time to focus.
- Keep the room in which you’ll be working at a pleasant temperature.
- Email me for more tips.
(Update: I decided to write a whole separate post for tips on focusing (and how to do it right). Read it here!)
A final note: what’s equally important in this last step is to stay human (i.e. don’t try to be superhuman). Don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t get mad or scold yourself if you still falter at times. You will have setbacks. That’s normal! And that’s okay. Every successful journey includes moments of hard work and pushing through, as well as moments of rest. That is what is needed to grow any muscle (whether that’s a literal muscle for a workout goal, or a figurative muscle). So, work hard, push through, rest, repeat. Don’t overdo it. Don’t try to lower your odds of succeeding by changing what’s been proven to work for centuries.
I’m Jenna — hi, I’m new to Medium! I’m a long-time writer/aspiring copywriter. I’m on a journey to making writing my full-time gig. Jump in with me! On Medium, I write about life’s struggles and successes, the writing process itself, and how to live better. Many of my stories have a touch (or a lot) of personal experiences in it.
Follow me on Medium here. I’m also on Twitter and Instagram (all are @jennacopywrites).
